From The Heart
by Hisa-Ai
Summary: Hush, my love
1. Secret

**So, in case you didn't know, April is National Poetry Writing Month, and this year I decided, _hey, how about a month of Merlin inspired/related poetry?_ I haven't written poetry in what feels like forever, but let's do this anyway. Because poetry is _awesome. _**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Merlin;_ let's not talk about the pain that it causes me.

* * *

_Secret_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

There was a secret in his eyes

Blue and guarded

Deep and careful

Sometimes Arthur wondered about it

If it would change things between them

If he really deserved to _know _what it was.

It was big

It could explode worlds and lives—

Merlin wouldn't keep something so guarded

With such pain and sadness

If it wasn't if it couldn't

And Arthur, oh Arthur, he worried about him

Keeping such a thing to himself

But then Merlin smiled and the secret vanished

And Arthur decided Merlin could keep all the secrets he wanted

As long as it didn't explode _their_ world

He couldn't find it in him to mind

*.*.*.*.*


	2. All There Ever Was

_All There Ever Was_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

Arthur was all there ever was

All there ever would be

All that mattered

All that didn't

All that was wrong

All that was right

All that was brave

All that was noble

All that was stupid

All that was dazzling

All that was not

All that laughed

All that cried—

He was all that Merlin loved

All that Merlin hated

All that Merlin wanted

All that Merlin needed—

Arthur was all there ever was

And Merlin needed it that way

*.*.*.*.*


	3. Destiny's Plan

_Destiny's Plan_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

There were miles and lifetimes in the way

There were secrets and lies that were here to stay

There was a boy with much too much

There was a man without enough

There was a crown in flames

There was royalty playing games

There was a woman or two

There was a man being a fool

There were knights so noble and brave

There were those that they could not save

There were scars and stories

There were sweet and bitter memories

There was a love that ran deep

There were half-promises whispered in their sleep

There were just two men

Trapped inside destiny's plan

*.*.*.*.*


	4. Perfection

_Perfection_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

I watch the curve of his lips when he isn't looking

I watch the rhythm of his fingers while he works

I eye the crook of his neck when it is bare

I admire his forearms

Gawk at his legs

Wonder at his hip bones

Dream about his chest—

He is beautiful

He is perfection

And he will never be mine

*.*.*.*.*


	5. Passion

_Passion_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

Ghosting fingers wondering

Racing thoughts wandering

A kiss a touch his heat on mine

Pulling and tugging—nothing but passion

Fumbling into his bed

Heads bumping lips bruising

Moments that will never be long enough

A lifetime to give a lifetime to receive

Secrets and defenses going down

His teeth at my neck as I enter him

United in lust and something like pain

Ripping us apart as we moan each other's names

*.*.*.*.*


	6. Revelation

_Revelation_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

There was a dazzling smile

And a floating book

There was a moment of clarity

And a vicious right hook

*.*.*.*.*


	7. Like Magic

_Like Magic_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

It was his eyes:

_Blue_

And wonderful

And deep

And something like magic

*.*.*.*.*


	8. Color Me Impressed

_Color Me Impressed_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

Color me impressed

By your broad shoulders

And your strong arms

Your nobility and pride

Your words and

The crown crushing you under its weight

*.*.*.*.*


	9. For The Sake Of A Kingdom

_For The Sake Of A Kingdom_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

For the sake of a kingdom

What would you do?

Would you kill your father?

Disgrace your mother?

Betray your brothers?

Turn your back on your people?

Toss out your friends?

Kill the innocent?

Rape your morals?

Cleanse the dirty?

Burn the rotten?

Or would you merely marry a girl you never truly loved?

*.*.*.*.*


	10. Death, Morgana

_Death, Morgana_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

You were worthy of a queen

Before your heart grew hard

Before your intentions were spiteful

Before there was a darkness within

Taunting you

Destroying you

Offering you only one

Sweet

_Sweet_

Release

*.*.*.*.*


	11. He Grew Up

_He Grew Up_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

He grew up—that boy

He grew up sad and stressed

He grew up cold and distant

He grew up hopeless and strong

He grew in love and grief

He grew a heavy heart

He grew a tired soul

He grew desperate

He grew concerned

He grew defeated

He grew a killer

He grew out of destiny

He grew lonely

He grew up—that boy

He grew into someone unrecognizable

He grew mad and changed and _bitter_

He grew up—that boy

And none would say it was for the better

*.*.*.*.*


	12. A Man

_A Man_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

There is a man—  
With blue eyes  
And a kind soul—  
But he will always be a boy:  
Always with too much to give  
Always with too many insults  
Always with laughs to cover tears

There is a man—  
With a secret  
And too much understanding—  
But he was never like other men:  
He never went to the tavern  
He never had girls  
He never gave up

There is a man—  
With scarves  
And scars—  
But he is too good for this world:  
Always here to help  
Always the last to leave  
Always the one to come running

There is a man—  
With too much love  
And somehow not enough—  
And he is perfection  
And he was my first friend  
And he is in love with someone else.

*.*.*.*.*


	13. Knights

_Knights_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

Brothers in arms

Lovers in sheets

Calloused hands

Gentle touches

Sore muscles

Soothing kisses

Protecting each other

Loving without limits.

*.*.*.*.*


	14. All For You

_All For You_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

If you could understand

For a fraction of a moment

What I have done and been through

Where I would go

Who I would kill

What I would hide—

I would _die_ for you

And I would love every last painful moment

If you would only understand:

_I do it_ _all for you_

*.*.*.*.*


	15. Nightmare

_Nightmare_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

The flames haunt my dreams

Tickling my skin with agony

Lungs full of smoke

Choking my throat

The pleas caught within

Restricted to the stake

Hatred in your eyes

You have condemned me to this

You want me to die

Too painful to cry

My skin is peeling off—

But the pain is _nothing_

The betrayal in your eyes is what keeps me up at night

A hollowed whisper of _I love you_

Before I'm to be burned

And Arthur—

If I could take away the betrayal

I would gladly burn any day.

*.*.*.*.*


	16. What It's About

_What It's About_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

It's about destiny  
And a touch  
Unlike any other

It's about fate  
And a feeling  
Unrelated to many

It's about two halves  
And a question  
Unconvincing half the time

It's about sacrifice  
And freedom  
Unbecoming of a servant

It's about a wanting  
And a longing  
Unallowed in their restrictive world

*.*.*.*.*


	17. No, Gwaine

_No, Gwaine_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

His last breath tastes like failure

Like a kingdom fallen

Like friends lost

Like a world without hope

Like friendship that doesn't matter

Like love that never lasts

Like battles meant to be lost

Like a quiet night between a deadly storm

Like everything he ever did was _wrong_

And he couldn't be counted on in the end

*.*.*.*.*


	18. This Marriage

_This Marriage_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

His kisses taste like duty  
Like his lips would want another

His hands feel rigid  
Like his fingers are used to something else

His love feels like friendship  
Like some days I'm just not enough

This marriage feels like a mistake  
Like it was never meant to go this far

*.*.*.*.*


	19. If He Would Let Me

_If He Would Let Me_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

I could stare at him for days

Get lost in those eyes

Pick at his secrets

Ruffle his skin

Brush his lips

Peer into his thoughts

Look past his soul

Catch his smiles

Flutter against his pulse

Live inside his words—

Oh if only he would let me!

I would take it all

I would give it all

I would love it all

And he would never even know it was gone

*.*.*.*.*


	20. Why Wasn't I?

_Why Wasn't I? (Enough)_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

Arthur was right  
And just  
And loyal  
And noble  
And he was _enough_  
And his love was _enough_  
For the boy with the scarves—

So why wasn't _I?_  
And why wasn't _my_ love?

Why am _I_ never _enough?_

*.*.*.*.*


	21. Forever In Your Debt

_Forever In Your Debt_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

If you kissed me here tonight  
I wouldn't tell a soul  
I wouldn't make a sound  
I wouldn't move an inch  
I wouldn't ever bring it up again

But I would treasure it  
Play it in my mind  
Over and over  
And  
_Over_  
Again

Until the day I die  
It would be my Heaven  
That second of your lips on mine—  
I would _die_ with bliss on my tongue

If you would grant me that one second  
I would be forever in your debt

*.*.*.*.*


	22. Did You Know, Merlin?

_Did You Know, Merlin?_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

His eyes are soft on you

His words gentle

Actions careful—

He's afraid to break you

Afraid to lose you

Afraid servants are built different from kings and knights

It's in his eyes

Every move calculated

Treated almost like a battle

Every option weighed

And thought out—

He doesn't blink around you

Without thinking it through

Without wondering how you will view it

His sword is steadier

And his kills quicker

He is a new man Merlin

And it's all for you

It spells out love to his knights

And something without words for him

New territory

A battle never conquered

You have the upper-hand

A servant with all the power over a prince

Later a king

His admiration spells out your future

Promises your happiness

Threatens his life—

You've changed him Merlin

And some would say it's for the better

None would argue for the worst

*.*.*.*.*


	23. But You Are

_But You Are_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

The sea is painted with your blood

The sky is mourning for your life

The wind is weeping with my soul

The earth is shivering at the loss

The people mourn the wasted potential—

This shouldn't hurt so much

People and kings die all the time

You should be no different

But

Somehow

You are

*.*.*.*.*


	24. You've Earned It

_You've Earned It _

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

Hush, my love  
You've gone for now  
But you'll come back to me—  
Not today  
Not tomorrow  
But one day  
You will rise again  
And it will be _glorious_  
But until then—rest  
Rest your weary soul  
Rest your broken heart  
Rest your weeping bones  
Rest, my love  
Until it is your time again  
You have earned it

*.*.*.*.*


End file.
